For those of you new to the scene, I am of course referring to Fantasy Football and Pick 'em. I am categorically not referring to the illegal IDYFT Fantasy Fighting League in which you can put money on which one of us would win certain types of fights, and then watch the action in the basement of a nondescript suburban 7-11.
Because, of course, that doesn't exist. Nope.
Anyway...
We have a winner in our IDYFT Fantasy Football League. And he's a contributor. Let's give it up to MuuMuuMan, the owner of the Fistomaniacs. Congrats MuuMuuman. For your prize, may I direct you to the Girls Section of the IDYFT Store? I'm sure your farting, lying children would appreciate it. Let me know what you would like.
In the Pick 'Em, "pooonyoo" has a narrow lead on "pakmaster". Gentlemen, make sure you contact us about your prize options. Again, the winner gets to pick between IDYFT paraphenalia, or a Football Playing Jesus. 2nd place gets the remainder. Third place gets something. Third place is currently a 5 or 6 way battle. Stay tuned!
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22 comments:
My basketball-playing Jesus is going to be so lonely. And all because I got cocky.
Picking the last games is a pain in the ass with the point spreads vs. resting starters.
I submit: next year I want it to be straight picks, not this Vegas-mediated bullshit.
Because I want Jebus in my life.
Wice, pipe down you gin-soaked popinjay. No point spreads would be a touch harder to get than your momma, and that ain't sayin' much. And how exactly would that address your point about the final week of the season. God you're ironic.
Oh, and pooonyoo! Bitch
#1 You imply that without a point spread we would all end up with the same score because picking the games would be easy. You, sir, are a humble dingleberry, never to be displaced by the toilet paper of logic.
For example, straight-picking the sixty-three March Madness games doesn't seem terribly easy for the rest of yous guys. I do recall finishing much higher than every other contributor on this site.
#2 There are 256 regular season NFL games. Do you really think everyone would pick them all the same, and be right 100% of the time? Do you? DO YOU?
#3 The point spread is arbitrary and imposed by some hairy greaseballs in Vegas. The NFL is not college ball, and point differentials don't matter at all. They shouldn't matter in our little pick 'em.
#4 Going with a straight pick 'em would not make much of a difference with the last week's difficult picks. I was just bitchin'.
#5 It is my contention that you merely like to argue, which I can appreciate. However, if you look inside your heart, I know that you'll find that including the point spread in the pick 'em process is strictly for idiots.
It's like we have to pick the games, but include the factor of best TD dances.
#6 To sum up: NFL is only about winning, and the pick 'em should follow.
Stupid babies need the most attention.
I agree with Wice. I quit playing because of the point spread. I took my toys and went home. I'm a quitter. Shit.
Its a proxy for gambling you dumbasses.
And anyway Wice, you wouldn't stand a chance no matter how much you dumbed down the rules.
For example, straight-picking the sixty-three March Madness games doesn't seem terribly easy for the rest of yous guys. I do recall finishing much higher than every other contributor on this site.
I recall finishing higher than all of you fuckers!
Also, once I figured it out, I kinda liked picking against the spread. I did much better than I did in my weekly office confidence pool.
Yes Jess, you beat all of us. Don't think I haven't forgotten. But I was referring to "contributors" to the site, not people who make fun of the contributions in the comments section.
Don't worry, there's a special circle of hell reserved for you as well.
It happens to be in Big BM's bathtub.
His bathtub, you say? I repent!
You best hit your knees hard tonight, young lass. (Lascivious import not initially intended but warmly welcomed) You have no idea what awaits there.
Perhaps I should hit my knees in both the lascivious and pious sense. You know, just to make sure I've got all my bases covered.
My righteous bathtub is a place of cleansing, not defilement.
That said, Jess, I like your idea. Cover them bases.
Hey Jess, if you're Catholic, you can take care of both in one fell swoop.
I did go to Mass mostly sober on Christmas Eve. Is that Catholic enough to cover my bases in the most efficient manner possible?
While covering your bases at Big BM's, be careful when he slides into third. He has a tendency to go in with his spikes high, if you know what I mean.
Or is that in bad taste?
I meant that he'd be trying to break up a double play, that's all.
Clearly, that's what you meant. And I appreciate the heads up ever so much.
Uhm... OK I have two farting, lying children, so I'd need two shirts - but I think the humor might be lost on the beautiful people here in Boulder. I'll take an organic T, large size. I plan on taking pictures of myself wearing only the shirt and posting them on the site. I'm sure that will totally improve sales.
I have no earthly idea what Andrew is talking about. Spikes high? I'm no Ty Cobb. I'm a gentlemanly stealer of third. Who would want to throw me out?
MuuMuu--shoot me an email with your mailing address and your prize is yours. If you want to take photos of you and your junk and T-shirt, it would probably help traffic.
You have no idea how many end up at this site because of barnyard's use of a young Italian boy in his underpants.
You are clearly no young Italian boy, but your willingness to show brain will counteract that, I'm sure. Have that wife of yours shave your map of Iraq before you go in front of the camera, though.
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