For regular readers of this blog, there has been a very simple paradigm to follow--be it books, or sayings, Washington Redskin Cheerleaders are pretty much one shot, one kill. They don't talk about multiple favorites. The ones that do are a rarity.
They flip the script, ya'll, when it comes to movies (and also TV shows, but I have yet to put in the research there). But almost every Redskin Cheerleader has multiple favorite movies, which changes how we discuss them.
Here's our plan of action. We'll first highlight the top three vote getters of Best Movie Ever, and the best movie that is similar to that movie that didn't get any votes at all. Be prepared, film buffs, Washington Cheerleaders don't seem to think much of "The Third Man", or "Rashoman" or "Rudy" or even "North Dallas 40"
Again, the method is still basically the same--every "favorite movie" got a vote, and I've tracked them all. Since almost every cheerleader picked at least 3 movies, our favorite cheerleader will be picked on the strength of her entire pick-set, not any one movie.
But first, the top vote getters, my take, and movies that fit the bill that are better:
The Wedding Crashers--8 votes. that's 20% of all Washington Cheerleaders.
That's a lot of votes for a movie that stops being funny after the first 45 minutes.
No votes for: The 40 Year Old Virgin, The Legend of Ron Burgandy
2 votes for Old School
What this says: Women--well, dumb women--think this movie a great comedy and a redemptive story about men who realize, eventually, there is more to fucking cold-crazy nymphos at weddings--there is also the marrying of them. Cheerleaders, dear Cheerleaders, this isn't a documentary. It's a pretty stupid comedy, with a bullshit romantic comedy tacked on at the end, to appeal to guess who? YOU!
Why I dislike the movie: Any movie that suggests we'll see Jane Seymour's taps and then doesn't deliver is on the side of the terrorists. Also, I believe Isla Fisher should be doing hardcore porn. At my house.
Why No 40 Year Old Virgin? The cheerleaders are saying, loud and clear: let smart, sassy, skinny bitches like Catherine Keener deal with the nice guys. We will take our fake boobs and seduce complete assholes, who will magically turn nice, if we turn out to be freaky enough in the sack.
The Notebook--7 votes--that's 17.8% of all Washington Cheerleaders
What this says: I'm uncertain. I didn't know there was a demographic that you could pull that would say 17.8% saw this movie, much less labeled it as a favorite. I'm confused. How could this possibly be the 2nd most beloved movie in Washington Cheerleader thought?
Why I dislike this movie: The same reason I dislike the Troy Aikman. It is out there, and people seem to like it. It doesn't matter whether they are talking about a movie, or a Gay Robot. I dislike it because it's crap, and because certain demographics (chicks, Dallas fans) keep talking about how great it is. Just because you like it doesn't make it great. See Fourth Place Finisher, "Dirty Dancing"
Why No Casablanca?: Apparently, the timeless, and somewhat unbelievable story featuring timeless performances from Screen Legends Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart pale in comparison to the work of that chick from Wedding Crashers and that dude from that other thing.
Crash--No really, Crash--5 votes!
What this says: 5 cheerleaders watched the Academy Awards and rented the Best Picture Winner. I love seeing Ryan Phillipe getting dicked around, and Matt Dillon feeling up Thandie Newton (hot damn, ya'll) or even seeing Tony Danza play a prick, but really--favorite movie of all time? I can think of a few Disney movies that had more things to say.
Why I Dislike This Movie: I don't dislike this move. Should it be anyone's favorite movie of all time? I don't think so. There isn't an actor in it who hasn't done something cooler, aside from maybe Ryan Phillipe. I mean, really, do you sit around, and talk about how fucking cool Don Cheadle was in this movie? Or do you talk about Traffic, Ocean's 11, and Out of Sight?
Why no LA Confidential?: Because it doesn't have a happy ending, where racist cops are redeemed--also it has Kim Basinger to remind cheerleaders that even though they are 23 and busty, they don't hold a candle to 40 year old Kim Basinger.
Coolest Movie Selection:
We have to give to it Rebecca, who picked out a combination of low-brow comedy, interesting foreign film, and really smart movies, and that's what we dig, too. She picked two musicals too many (two) but aside from that, it's really a damn good list of flicks. (Well, we could live without "It's a Wonderful Life" but we understand that when we say things like that, people think that we don't have souls.)
As we did with the most popular flicks, we'll link each movie to an Ebert review, as tribute to the ailing critic and screenplay writer of "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" (which even by Russ Meyer standards, is one boob-filled, strange flick). You are in our thoughts, Roger Ebert! We love boobs as much as you do!
Rebecca's movies: American Beauty, Amores Perros, City of God, Chicago (Boo!), Crash, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, It's a Wonderful Life, Rent (Boo! Boo! Boo!), The Shawshank Redemption, Traffic, Wedding Crashers
Previous Redskin Cheerleaders who won praise on this blog, and their favorite movies.
Anabel (Best Book): "Coming to America" (Ebert's review not online. Ouch)
Shaina (Best Quote): "Almost Famous", "Wedding Crashers"
Quick note: Ebert's review of "wonderful life" mentions in passing "The Third Man" as being a classic that gets better with age. I wholly agree, it is in my top 3 movies of all time, and often occupies the top spot. If you haven't seen it, you are hereby directed to read Ebert's review, and then go rent it. It is a brilliant tale of post-war amorality, and American naivete, and may contain Orson Welles' finest performance. Directed by English genius Carol Reed, and written by American genuis, Graham Greene, it may also contain the finest performace by American actor Joseph Cotten, who is quietly in dozens of great movies. His western writer, Holly Martins, is a wonderfully realized character--naive to the point of dumb, yet capable of deep cynicism and even insight.
It also made a bold choice in soundtrack--almost all (completely all?) zither music, it punctuates the bombed out city of Vienna perfectly.
2 comments:
nice call with wedding crashers. that shit was good for like a half hour then got sappy and romantic.
as for the Notebook, it's spelled: T-R-I-T-E.
You are such a loser that you spent time analyzing which movies the cheerleaders like and what that means. Like you could ever get any one of them.
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