I Dislike Your Favorite Team

they have an inflated sense of their own worth. For example, the Minnesota Vikings. For some reason, perhaps owing to being a proud part of the weakest division in football, there is hope in Vikings camp. Let's examine this mass hysteria. They have the second oldest starting QB in the NFL in Johnson. Backup QB, one might imagine, could prove to be an important position. So the Vikings brought in ... Mike McMahon? I suppose it is impressive that he completed 46% of his passes last year while compiling an enviable 5-8 TD:INT ratio. Running back has been a problem since Robert "Smartest Man in the NFL, still?" Smith retired. So the Vikings bring in ... Chester Taylor? Jamal "2,000 yards and a puff of smoke" Lewis's backup in Baltimore rang up a heady 117 carries for 487 yards and 0 TD's last year. Taylor is the only RB in the NFL to have more than 100 carries and NOT score a TD. That's a real nose for the paydirt, Slapshot. The perpetually underachieving WR core is double-fucked by Koren "I'll just have iced tea, thanks" Robinson and an old immobile QB just asking for the big blitz. Upgrades along the O-line should staunch the bleeding, but don't expect much from the Vikings offense this year. The Vikings defense, the weak link in all recent memory, seems to have pulled the O down to its level, finally. The D line is talented but they have no linebackers to make tackles. Their defensive backfield will be unable to cover any kind of spread offense. Expect big plays to burn their old, over-rated safety. As for special teams, finding someone to kick in the mall-air of the Dome shouldn't be too hard. The worst mistake the Vikings ever made was to move indoors. And they call themselves the Vikings? My prediction: the Vikings will suck, even with an artificially inflated record owing to their division. My proof: Monday, September 11th at 7 pm EST versus the indomitable, rhymedable, que robusto Washington Redskins.