I Dislike Your Favorite Team

Obviously, this is somewhat hearsay, but here's what I remember hearing (fellow bloggers, weigh in, please)

(In almost every game in which a player slid into courtside seats)
"And Terrell Brandon has slid into the first row of seats! And he's spilled the beer of a big fat guy! The big fat guy has beer all over him! He's incensed! He's lost his entire beer! He can't believe it! Oh, it's actually a big fat lady!"

(During Losing Seasons in which Doug West was the star player, a game in which West was guarding a dude who had the last name of Wood)
"And Doug West has got Wood! He's got Wood so bad he can barely move!"

(During a Half-time shooting contest, after it was revealed the contestant lived in a trailer park):
"He lives in a trailer park, so you know he needs the money!"

(In an infamous game, after Manute Bol hit 3 3-pointers in a row, burying the rather lousy Timberwolf Squad at the time)
"And Manute Bol is running down the court, praying to whatever God he prays to, screaming, 'please let me hit another 3!'"