During last year's Poker Championship thingy, I blasted into shitty beer maker Milwaukee's Best, for making it seem unmanly for men to do such ridiculously unmanly things like "Check in with the Wife."
But lucky you, I've meant to blog about a new round of commercials that strikes me as much more offensive, to much less point, and I'm confused by them.
Let's face it--very,very few women drink Milwaukee's Best. Really, very few men do, either. It's a beer for high schoolers with a good fake ID. Like Mad Dog 20/20, or Boone's. These things exist for kids looking for cheap legal highs (aside from the whole 21 years old thing).
Which makes this whole new marketing direction by Twix all the more confusing. Did they do some market research and find out that 90% of all Twix eaters are male and date rapists? What does loving chocolate, caramel and cookie have to do with depicting opionated women as jittery idiots? Watch the progression of this commercial (the TV version, by the way, leaves out the man's response of "mainstream media"--in the TV version he never gets that far, before being cut off by the "too smart for her own good" Media Theorist, who is off to get date-raped, based on the promise of "blogging". Women who read this blog, how do you read this commercial?
My read is this: Twix decided to write commercials like they were a beer company and not a maker of cheap chocolate. They decided to try to become the Frat Chocolate Bar of Choice. And what better way to do that then to depict a Dumb Man outwitting a much Smarter Woman (who actually isn't) by using a Twix Bar. In the Twix Universe, Intelligent Women are 1. Scary and Intimindating and Hard to Trick into Bed. 2. Easy to Trick Into Bed.
Why do you assume she's going to be date raped?
She seems like a goer to me.
I would say your read is mostly spot-on.
The fact that these Intelligent Women are somehow easily tricked into bed by lame pick-up lines after watching some fratty douche cram a Twix in his mouth and eat in five seconds is even more puzzling.
I kinda think I would walk away while the douche was chewing. Well, maybe I'd hang around long enough to make sure he didn't choke. But probably not.
A woman in an ad who proclaims "99 percent" statistics can't be trusted. Statistics like that are made up on the spot 77% of the time.
Oh Monkey, if you want a head count of your female readership, you could ask us to raise our hands or send you our bras, again. You don't need Twix.
Who knew Wice was a woman?
I stand corrected.
This commercial has bothered me for months and months.
Twix is apparently for awful, manipulative people. I just don't get it.
I think the "I thought you were a believer" line bothers me the most. Also, the suggestion that bloggers are navel-gazing socially retarded blowhards.
Very few commercials are designed for the thinking man. Might I suggest a good book and some decent chocolate? Moonstruck in Portland offers a pleasing selection.
This really is the American way BBM. Let's say you want A, but if you ask for A you're not gonna get it. So you make up phony motive B which sounds better, and then you use B to get A. Example:
You want to get your hands on Iraqi oil and plunder the US treasury. Now asking to do that would be very unpopular. So, you make up weapons of mass destruction, terrorists, etc to get a good war going so you can achieve A.
So, we all are the girl, and we are about to get date raped again, this time to the tune of 700 billion.
Oops, that wan mmman, not my friend vera.
vera is a downy clowny.
I mean, I agree and all, but I was having a nice day ignoring the immiment destruction of the planet.
Don't ignore your fate. Grab a Twix and pop a squat. Tonight's National Theatre production promises to move your neighbors to belt out George M. Cohan songs, and you, my friend, will find yourself craving more Mean Girl-cum-caramel.
It should be noted that Twix is yet another candy bar reinforcing the ossification of social classes.
The caramel is the bourgeoisie, the "cookie crunch" is the proletariat. And I don't think I need to tell you which class is represented by the thin, sweet chocolate coating.
Well done Andrew.
Also, Barack Obama is the only political candidate (including his VP) who has said that invading Iraq was wrong. That our country made an egregious mistake and we need to get the fuck out of that country immediately while making sure what's left of it can stand up to a decent wind.
Go shoot another fucking moose, Tammy Faye.
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