Thursday, June 28, 2007

US vs. Argentina--US Wins 1-0 For Four Minutes

And then they get worked like whores inside the Vatican during the Banquet of Chestnuts.

Very few Americans got to watch this game, it being on the 2nd or 3rd Mexican-American television channel, Telefutura. I should note, that includes me. My dad watched the game, and he told me that "this Messi guy you told me to watch makes a lot of good runs, and Oh! Oh! OH! That Tevez guy just scored."

We will very quickly note that occasional contributor Garwood B. Jones predicted this score exactly right. Be glad you don't know him, because those of us who do will be forced to watch him blow smoke up his own ass.

So, to recap...the Americans had two starters from their impressive Gold Cup squad--revelation Benny Feilhaber, and defensive but dangerous Jonathan Bornstein. This angers me greatly. Finally, a chance to take what looks like a good young team into hostile territory outside the CONCACAF, and Coach Bradley goes yet younger, more inexperienced, except in the defense, where we see such retreads like Jimmy Conrad and Danny Califf. Ugh.

No surprise, I guess, that the US' one goal came from a nasty through ball from Feilhaber. American Engima Eddie Johnson gets knocked ass over teakettle in the box, and then slots the penalty home. It was the 8th minute. The US would do no better.

The next four goals were Argentinian in origin. Hernan Crespo (off the chaos of a Riquelme free kick) tied it four minutes later. The score remained tied until the 64th minute, when Crespo again scored. Hell, let's just save ourselves the pain of recounting these goals, and just go with soccernet's last paragraph about the game:

Crespo scored his second goal off a pass from Messi, speeding unmarked into the penalty area and beating Keller from 8 yards. Aimar scored on a header from 12 yards off a cross from Heinze, who bent the ball back from near the corner. Tevez then collected a through ball from Riquelme on a failed offside trap, touched it ahead to himself and slotted the ball just inside the post to Keller's right.

Hey, young US team--mark Crespo. Hey US defense--offside traps are for suckers. Hey, Coach Bradley--field a real team, because this paragraph bugs the fuck out of me:

The loss was the first for the United States since a 2-1 defeat to Ghana on June 22 last year in Germany, which eliminated the Americans from the World Cup. They had been 10-0-1 under Bob Bradley, who coached his first road game since replacing Bruce Arena as coach late last year.

In other words, this was the first loss the US team has suffered since the last they played a real team outside the US. Hiding behind a bunch of punk rookies who are 3 spots down in the depth chart does us a disservice, Bob. When we play one of the best teams in the world, we should bring our best team. Mexico did. Argentina did. Chile did. If we get worked 4-1 by Argentina, I should have a sense of what that means for the US team. I have no idea, because there was no Beasley, no Donovan, no Dempsey, no Bocanegra, no Spector.

This was the best team we've played since our disastrous World Cup, and we basically decided not to show up. Not cool, in my book.


Muumuuman said...

Perhaps this is just brilliant strategy by Bradley to lower the US rankings in hopes of avoiding a group composed of, oh, idunno, Italy, Checks, and Ghana.

On other note, Garwood was right. That comet did burn up in the air, and all that was left was a rock the size of a Chiwawa's head. I'm scared.

Muumuuman said...

One observation - the soccernet article has player links for players of note (in the grey "Teams" box on the right). For the US Keller has a page. That's it.


lbutler36 said...

Why did the spanish channel start over at 0:00 time again at the half? It took me a good 20 minutes to figure out what was going on. Hooray public education!

Andrew Wice said...

Just wanted to give a dip o' the libation cup to Big BM for a very impressive deep pull ... the Banquet of the Chesnuts. Very nice, my lad. You obviously matriculated at a place that could consider itself truly THOTM.

At such a ballet of whores picking up hot roasted chesnuts with their good 'n' plentys, quoting William Manchester in his seminal (ha!) work A World Lit Only By Fire, "Servants kept score of each man's orgasms, for the pope greatly admired virility and measured a man's machismo by his ejaculative capacity."

Anonymous said...

Garwood blowing smoke up his own ass? Say it ain't so.