I Dislike Your Favorite Team

I have had Digital Cable for awhile now. If one were to date it precisely, it would be just a couple of days before the World Cup of 2006 began. I got cable for that event, and then the Daily Show was back in my house, and Cartoon Network, and reruns of Law & Order. And that made me quite happy. (By the way, TNT--what's up with no L&O rerun older than 1998? I wanna see the DA who looks like an angry version of my dad.)

Then I discovered, a full year after the fact, the beauty and glory of Spike TV's "Pros vs. Joes" It was an accidental discovery, even though I had read Will's discussion of his experiences during the promotion of said program. It was new to me. And if you read this blog, you know what that meant to me, and this blog. It meant that I blogged about it as if I were the first human to encounter this alien program.

I have no idea how far behind the curve I am on brilliant Nipponese import "Ninja Warrior" on G4 TV. G4, the land of snarky video game reviews, followed by 2 hours of Cops followed by 2 hours of Cheaters, followed by Olivia Munn. Olivia is OK in our book. Finding Japanese Game Shows on G4 may seem like a non sequitor (or as Mitt Romney would say, a Null Set. Mitt Romney says that because he's an idiot, and thinks that Jesus preached the New Testament to Injuns. Fuckin' dummy!). I've lost the plot...

Ninja Warrior! It is awesome, simple, and completely impossible in America. This show would have been shut down by lawsuits in its first day in America. Say what you will about the Japanese. Call them a bunch of "sandal-wearing goldfish tenders". Regardless, you have to defer to their ability to come up with awesome reality competition TV Shows.

Each Arc of the show starts with 100 competitors. All 100 run through an obstacle course of which I've never seen the like of. It tends to eliminate 80% of the contestants. Because this is Japan, and because it is awesome, they tend to throw in "Big in Japan" celebrities into the mix. Watch 64 year old comedians fall off the first jump. See a 15 year old boy obsessed with the show almost make it to the end! But that's just Obstacle Course #1. There is still numbers #2, 3, and 4.

Again, I thank you G4. You are worth whatever tiny fraction of the huge bill I pay monthly for my Cable. Hell, with this one show alone, you've become more valuable than CBS and CNN combined.

Please enjoy my sample, if you do not find it shameful. Your prefecture will enjoy these antics. Ninja Warrior is on nightly on G4, Monday through Friday at 9:30 EST CST.