Thursday, April 15, 2010

England is a Pussy Country That Has To Simulate Height

Hear me, ya pussy-ass Limeys?

American soccer players don't need special nighty-night time bed tents that simulate high altitude. Because we have fucking mountains, bitches!

As of today, I'm demanding that all US Soccer players get sent to Colorado, then sunk into a deep pool and fed oxygen poor air for the next 4 weeks.  We'll come out of that with super lungs, and muscles used to increased resistance.  Running in thin air will feel like nothing at all after that!

To summarize:  British soccer players are pussies.

4 comments:

Andrew Wice said...

I fundamentally agree with you. And I quote: "soccer players are pussies."

Glad you finally came along, big shooter.

Muumuuman said...

They could stay at my house.

Big Blue Monkey 2: The Quickening said...

That's some Fox News quality editing, Mr. Wice.

Brandon, no! Bill of Rights, Amendment 3 buddy. No quartering of British soldiers/soccer players.

Andrew Wice said...

No no, the third amendment is the one that says you get your choice of soup or salad with your entree.