I Dislike Your Favorite Team

Yahoo Sports scribe Les Carpenter has decided that Tim Tebow's Christianity is somehow a massive issue in his draft status, despite noting in his own piece, "Several executives, coaches and league analysts say Tebow’s religion has not been a primary topic in meetings about him."  Later on, he says, "In the end someone will take him and take him high – higher perhaps than his ability dictates."  And yet, Les Carpenter is sure, despite his own conclusion and introduction, Tim Tebow is being unfairly judged because of his totally normal brand of religion.

Les Carpenter wants you to know from the beginning how ridiculous of a puff piece this is going to be.  Here's a chunk of his first paragraph, describing the young man from Florida:  "A selfless man. A man whose life is filled with stories of a goodness so rare and pure in an athlete it is hard to imagine that he could be for real."  I'm sorry?  Are we talking about a college QB who managed to not get laid at Florida, or Jesus Christ, QB?

Carpenter isn't done with his apologia, though. Consider:  "And Tebow’s views are hardly out of the mainstream in the NFL where a significant number of players consider themselves to be strong Christians. Just none of them are as audacious about it, scrawling scripture on eye black patches and speaking as loudly and eloquently about their faith."

Let's start with that last sentence first, because I'm guessing that's the one everyone reading goes, "Whah?" at.  Even the most casual observer of sports has noted that athletes tend to be very audacious about their Christianity.  They, almost 100% of the time, thank God for their abilities, for their teammates, etc.  The NFL is full of audacious Christians proclaiming their faith.  Are they scrawling scripture on their eye black patches? No, not so much, because (let's get to the first sentence I quoted) Tim Tebow is way outside the Christian mainstream.

How do I know?  Because his dad, who drives traffic to his site by proclaiming his ministry to be that of the father's of Tim Tebow, is way outside the mainstream.  Consider--Bob Tebow believes that the Bible is 100% Accurate.  That's crazy talk.  That's Noah was real.  That the first people on the planet were Adam and Eve.  Which by default means the Tebows don't believe in evolution, and that, presumably, homosexuality is punishable by death (Leviticus!).

Here's Bob Tebow on the inerrant nature of the Bible: "The entire Bible is God-breathed... Because God never lies, His Word is completely true. This means that Scripture is without error (inerrant) to the degree it represents the original manuscripts. We believe that the original manuscripts are completely free of error, and God has preserved the Bible so that it remains authoritative."

That right there? Outside the Christian mainstream, no matter what Les Carpenter casually asserts--maybe Les Carpenter should do some research?

Maybe he has done so, and just hasn't shared the results, because he seems quite sure that Tim Tebow lives "an exemplary life in which he has undoubtedly improved the welfare of many people in the Philippines."  How has Tim Tebow undoubtedly improved the welfare of a country that is 85-90% Catholic?  By converting them to his special brand of Evangelicalism?  Or did he also improved the infrastructure of Manila, and I just didn't hear about it?  Tim Tebow, we are told, undoubtedly improved the Philippines.  And yet, here I am, doubting it.  Why do I doubt?  Because as a godless atheist, I enjoy things like "examples" and "evidence."

When Tim Tebow finally gets his cock sucked, I bet he'll be lying back with his wife going to work, and he'll think, "Hey, this feeling reminds me of that Les Carpenter article."