Thursday, April 22, 2010

Daft Draft Draught

#1 Sam Bradford: this poor fellow is going to have his surgically-repaired shoulder torn out of its socket and shoved up his sideways every Sunday. The Rams have allowed 371 sacks in only eight years, an average of over 46 sacks per year. They haven't ranked better than 25th in protecting the quarterback since 2001. This pick is sadistic.

#2 Suh: He has to move to Detroit. And then he has to play for the Lions. I'm not sure which is the insult and which is the injury.

#3 McCoy: I can't believe another DT in a row is going, but I guess the Bucs really need him. Seems like first round DTs bust with regularity ... just saying.

#4 Trent 'Silverback' Williams! His versatility and athletic upside are why they chose him over the more polished Okung. They keep saying he needs to be coached an motivated. Uh-oh?

Washington now has three men named "Williams" on the offensive line.

Well, that's about the end of the draft for Washington, unless something crazy happens.


Andrew Wice said...

Letting the kids have their cellphones definitely takes away the drama of the draft.

While Mel "Hair" Kiper is still talking, the camera finds the kid on his cellphone crying tears of joy.

Jess said...

Wait. Keyshawn isn't even on? My sole reason to tune in was to see what crazy, seizure-inducing shit he was wearing. Boo.

Andrew Wice said...

Sorry, you would have needed to tune into any of the 30,000 hours of pre-draft coverage.

Big Blue Monkey 2: The Quickening said...

And that was the end of the draft for Washington, though some pretty crazy things happened.

I'm really confused by Denver. I'm mildly confused by The Vikings.

Big Blue Monkey 2: The Quickening said...

And Wice, yeah, the Cell phones have been an issue for the past couple of years, and so has Chris Berman "scooping" a pick seconds before it is announced.

I keep meaning to try the NFL Network and see if they do it better, and I keep forgetting to look. Because that's the NFL Network, summed up.

I hear you on Sam Bradford, but I don't know what the Rams should have done. They couldn't draft an OL #1, and I'm guessing they were finding it difficult to trade down and still get value. I don't think anyone but them wanted the #1 pick. It's fucking expensive.

Big Blue Monkey 2: The Quickening said...

and besides, the kid has a live arm. If he survives his first year, he could cause a lot of damage in the NFC West, which is just full of sucky QB's right now. He might be the best QB in the division in a year or two.

Andrew Wice said...

I agree the Rams were locked into place, and taking Bradford was the only option. But it's a shitty position to be in, and that kid is going to get an assload of money.
Yes, he's a very good college QB. But he has had some very serious injuries and is going into a bad situation.