Monday, November 29, 2010

Battleaxes Over Tomahawks & the Big Blame

The less said about the Vikings victory over the Skins, the better. Though I'm sure I've invited some derision, somehow.

It was a long, ugly, boring game of football. Sometimes a low-scoring game can be a defensive masterpiece. This was not. Dropped passes and penalties were ugly for both teams, but uglier for the Skins over the course of the game.

Washington's running backs had nine carries for sixteen yards. The announcers said they only ran to keep the defense "honest." That, I humbly submit, is bullshit as a strategy and it worked like bullshit in the game. With the Vikes able to tee off on the assurance that the Skins could only pass it (even on 3rd and one, repeatedly), the rush accumulated hits and sacks at a ferocious rate.

And when the the defense had to make a stop, they were unable to prevent a broken-footed forty-something from scrambling for the game-clinching first down. That's right, Brett Favre beat Washington with his legs. Must be some sort of flaw in the 3-4 defense, no?

In other feel-good news, the sports Reformation has finally broken. For a hundred years, every winning team gave their thanks and praise to Jebus for his guiding hand. The losers? No one asked them.

But now Twitter enables people to answer questions that haven't been asked. Such is the case of WR Steve Johnson of the Bills. In overtime versus the Steelers, Johnson was wide open in the end zone and dropped the game-winner from his hands. So he did the classy thing: he blamed God.

Steve Johnson's Dropped Pass Has Caused Him To Seriously Rethink His Devotion To A Higher Power

Thanks to Deadspin for this agnostic action.

1. Packers, Bears: +1
2. Vikings, Skins: 0
3. Detroit: -2

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