I Dislike Your Favorite Team

The Washington Redskins are owned by Daniel "The Schneider" Snyder. Snyder has an aggressive and acquisitive business sense, clearing a million bucks at age twenty. That business -- chartering jets for college students going to Ft. Lauderdale for spring break -- exemplifies Snyder's business career: sort of youthful, sort of fun, kind of weird, kind of nerdy.

He made his fortune with a marketing company that specialized in sponsorships in prime locations (e.g. FedEx field). Upon such a FedEx Field (naming writes = $207 million) play the Washington Football Redskins, which he bought in 1999. His ownership of the Redskins has been financially successful, but frustrating for fans who chafe at his spastic spending and philistine meddling in football affairs. Indeed, the financial success for the Redskins (second-highest grossing franchise in the NFL) owes much more to the loyal devotion of the fans than anything Snyder has done.

Snyder's main business venture beyond the Redskins is a share of Six Flags, Inc. The nationwide amusement park chain has been financially troubled since 1998 after a decade of over-expansion. As Six Flags hemorrhaged assets, Snyder wrested control of the board in 2005. They have continued to sell off properties, down to twenty theme parks after nearly fifty at their peak.

Stock in Six Flags, which was over eleven dollars per share when Snyder bought it, has fallen near the Mendoza Line of two dollars. In the marketing attempts to save Six Flags, Tyson Foods became the exclusive purveyor of chicken products. Six Flags VP Lou Koskovolis explains, "Now when they dine in our restaurants, they'll immediately identify the Tyson brand for its own superior qualities."

Unfortunately, Tyson Foods has been accused of a superior quality of chicken torture by PETA. A hidden camera in a chicken plant revealed the superior qualities of Tyson chicken: "The video appeared to show workers throwing chickens and urinating on the plant floor."

One worker explained, "Fucking chickens made me mad."
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