I Dislike Your Favorite Team

As mentioned previously, Adidas has a nifty new promotion wherein they have contracted a bunch of "underground" acts in MLS cities to write and perform fight songs for the MLS franchises. The results are positively mindblowing. You can download the songs your ownselves from here.

Akwid: Chivas Explosivas (Chivas USA). All things being equal, not a bad little tune. Driving rhythm, chants that a crowd could get behind. The song itself is a pretty straight-forward hip-hop/rock song with some Mexicali highlights (dig them horns). There's even some rappin' in Messican! How exciting! The Guys running for President on the Republican ticket are presumably shitting in their pants over this clear double-sided attack on American values.

Download worthy?: Sure.



Bad Brains: DC United (DC United). It's very Bad Brainsy. Under 2 minutes long, with a backing track that sounds like every other Bad Brains filler track on every album they've ever made. Don't get me wrong, I like the Bad Brains, but you do know what you are getting, right? Scratches, metal guitars, with a hint of a reggae rhythm every now and again. Bonus points to Bad Brains for using the word "pitch", though. It could be perfect for a rowdy crowd looking to start trouble.

Download worthy?: Under 2 minutes of song doesn't take too long to download. Yeah.



The Rapture: Whoo..Alright, Yeah Uh-huh (New York Red Bulls Remix) (NYC Red Bulls). Maybe this band is a hot dance club band in NYC (and places beyond). But I'm not crazy about them or their remixed track (Despite the catchy "Go New York" digital cowbell chorus). Dance bands getting played in soccer stadiums seems wrong, unless that dance band is New Order.

Download worthy?: I don't know, man. It's your time. As time goes by, and I listen to this song more, I dislike it more. Surely, there were cooler bands in New York that could have done this thing? The Hold Steady are Minnesotan at heart, but they could have done this song, with the exact same lyrics, and come up with something cool sounding (though I bet you could never get Finn to pronounce "whine" as "whinge"). Download at your own peril.



Meg & Dia: Mighty REAL (Real Salt Lake) I was feelin' trepidatious over the idea of a Salt Lake City underground band, but I gotta say this song rocks pretty well. The sisters Meg and Dia were clearly channelling great stadium hits--big guitars, big chant-along-vocals. Imagine a world in which Gary Glitter liked grown women, and let them sing his songs. In an odd twist of my nerdy pursuits, I find myself wanting to play this song on Guitar Hero.

Download worthy?: I just said that I wanted to play it on the GH. Download worthy, indeed! Bonus credit for reinventing "real" from a stupid thing to import from Europe into a chant-worthy R-E-A-L.



Rose Hill Drive: Goal! (Colorado Rapids) Very guitar-rocky, and not very Rapid-oriented, as far as I can tell. I don't hear shout outs to Justin Mapp, for example. This seems to be more a song about being from Colorado than about the Rapids. These chaps have proven themselves to know enough about soccer to know that is about kicking and running, and that a point is called a goal.

Download worthy?: Despite the lack of real soccer knowledge, or the lack of stadium anthemness, it is still a pretty enjoyable song--there are handclaps, after all. I say yeah.



Mike Jones: Houston Dynamo (Houston Dynamo) Old school hip-hop. It reminds me of the Geto Boys. Sparse samples, simple beats. It isn't a stadium anthem at first blush. But Mike Jones didn't just throw together a beat and then run. He seems like he loves his team. He knows their colors. He's got their jersey. He knows they won the championship last year (no mention on the crazy way they won, but I can't "hate on him" for that).

Download worthy?: I think so. The beats are solid, if nothing else.



Polyphonic Spree: HOOPS Yes! (FC Dallas) Fun song, as all Spree songs are. But the soccer connection is tenuous, the FC Dallas connection even more so. Until the last 30 seconds, you wouldn't know that this song had anything to do with the former Burn. Perhaps a Dallas fan can explain the significance of HOOPS.

Download worthy?: Sure, I guess, especially if you are a Polyphonic Spree fan. If you are somehow, someway, a Dallas fan, than I guess you could do worse than this song. It just isn't very stadiumy, you know?



Barenaked Ladies: TFC (Toronoto FC): Another band that gets what stadium rock is about. Chants, sing-along choruses, and some power chords. It's a little wussy, but what do you expect? It is, after all, the Barenaked Ladies.

Download Worthy?: Yep.


Blackpool Nights: Ain't Nobody Gonna Stop Us Now (Kansas City Wizards): The elements are there, I guess. The city name gets some background yells, there's a chorus that people could sing along to. But the song as a whole sounds like less like an homage, and more like a parody to stadium rock.

Download Worthy?: Only if you live in Kansas City, or in general, really love the Wizards.



Damone: Revolution! (New England Revolution): Big dumb guitars, background vocals chanting "revolution". Sing-along vocals. Lots of the same elements I highlighted in the previous song, but this one I love. Why I can't exactly say. It sounds more authentic, I guess. Like this band actually digs the Revolution.

Download worthy?: Hell yes!


Kinky: We Are the Galaxy (LA Galaxy): The soccer connection is somewhat tenuous. Galaxy is clearly the subject of the song, but would you know it was the LA Galaxy if it didn't show up in the midst of all these other songs? I don't know. In general, it is kind of a pussy anthem.

Download worthy?: It is your time. I give it a shrug.



OK GO!: Here Comes the Fire (Chicago Fire): This song succeeds on one level. It's a great song, with snappy percussion, "Fire" getting yelled on the choruses, loud, dumb guitar, and a great tag line: "The Fire Will Burn This Whole Place Down." But you really have to pay attention to know that the song isn't about the historical Chicago Fire. You won't hear a mention of soccer or football in it at all.

Download worthy?: It is probably one of the top 3 tracks available. Yep.


RJD2: It's Your Crew (Columbus Crew): RJD2 is one of the best hip-hop producers in the game, and he knows what a stadium anthem is all about. But then, being an experimentalist, he throws some things in there that don't belong. And hey, do we really need to mention the fucking Ohio State Buckeyes twice in the first 30 seconds?

Download worthy?: I'd lean towards no.