Sunday, August 05, 2007

Hall of Fame, my ass.

Another wave of nostalgia has broken over the NFL. Hall of Fame inductions highlighted a weekend in Canton culminating in the first NFL preseason game of 2007. Two particular players were "given the bust" (as they say in Canton), while a third was "given the finger" (as they say in Scranton). Art Monk was too busy coaching youth sports in inner-city DC to be reached for comment.

Among the Class of 2007, Michael "Coketits" Irvin pleaded guilty during his arraignment -- I mean, induction. Irvin's multiple arrests on "Possession of Blow and Hos" charges kept the WR out of the HOF club for, what, two years? His stats put him in the Hall, but what does the Hall of Fame stand for? He earned entrance with his statistics and four Rings. He also earned censure with his hardcore coke and hooker addictions. I can firmly say that Coketits is lucky digital cameras hadn't been invented yet.

Irvin's numbers are strong, but Monk's are better. Irvin's 750 rec vs. Monk's 940, 11,904 yards vs. 12,721 yards, 65 TDs vs. 68 TDs. Irvin has four Rings. Monk has Three.

Detroit's Charlie Sanders got in under the wire. By most accounts, he's an affable chap. He went to the Pro Bowl seven times and has nine children, so obviously he likes having sex with his wife. While it isn't fair to compare a WR to a TE in terms of receptions and yardage (Monk has him 3:1 in both categories), and Sanders is lauded for his blocking, TDs remain a useful indicator of an offensive player's importance. Here, Monk has him 68 to 31.

By the way, Monk is credited as an outstanding blocker and an integral part of the dominating Counter-Trey which cracked so many skulls, so many years ago.

To the 2008 Selection Committee, I say: in the name of truth, justice and the American Way, do what is honorable and enshrine Art Monk.

Monk has a blimp filled with TDs, but maintains his humility: "I'm more and more amazed each time I come to this type event. I think back to my youth in New York when we'd play street ball, stickball, whatever. Guys always talked about what they're going to become. I never did that. I was never one to talk much, and that hasn't changed. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think my career would get to this point."

6 comments:

sean b said...

not to make it worse, but doesn't irvin only have 3 rings also (92, 93, 95)?

Andrew Wice said...

You are absolutely right, Irvin only has three rings. And that does make it worse.

Anonymous said...

the sad argument continues, keep drinkin the hateraide. bob hayes was better than monk and is not in the hall, feel better now?

Anonymous said...

I'm offended by this presentation of codetits on the site. Should they not be more prominently displayed for the world to see? Do you people have no shame?

Andrew Wice said...

Ssh, I'm trying to sneak the coketits past the Censor. The very handsome and admirable Censor.

Regarding the hateraide, my favorite flavor is "Schadenfreude Punch."

Regarding Bob "Bullet" Hayes: the gold medalist certainly took the NFL by storm when he arrived, and forced teams to base their defense against guarding him, a sure sign of greatness. He has one Super Bowl ring.

After teams adjusted -- and it took a few years -- Bob's numbers pathetically dwindled. He finished with three more TD's than Art Monk, but caught 569 fewer passes for 5,307 fewer yards. While certainly dominant for a time, it is hard to argue that Hayes could be considered "better" thank Monk. He was a strictly a long ball artist, while Monk had the complete game.

Hayes has been kept out of the Hall because of his problems with the narcotics.

Monk gets high on life, and teaching children and immigrants how to read and believe in themselves.

Monk not being in the Hall is a greater injustice.

Anonymous said...

Charlie Sanders belongs in the Hall, and comparing him to Monk just doesn't work on any level.

Consider the quality of the teams/quarterbacks (not close, in the 'Skins favor).

And consider the two eras. Sanders spent the bulk of his career in the 1970s, which is the Deadball era of modern pro football. Monk played in the wide-open '80s.

Just don't go there....