It all starts with Coach Pete Carroll, a cheater and liar who brings his boyish lack of honor to a professional team which has been abandoned more times than a cross-eyed orphan. Coach Carroll, back for a third attempt at pro coaching, jumped from USC a moment before the subpoenas came raining down.Seattle's offseason has been a miserable slog of meaningless roster splatters. But this team is about to implode like an infinitely dense fudgefest.
On the eve of the regular season, they've given away their #1 WR, their starting FB, a starting CB while demoting their starting RB in favor of a vegan bean wrap. They also added six brand new players, castoffs all. Hope they can learn the playbook by Sunday.
Their first-round draft pick (don't worry, plenty more coming) LT Russell Okung is out with a bad ankle and his third-string replacement has been with the team less than two weeks. No one is more relieved to get away from Seattle than recently-released QB J.P. Loserman.
Most damning perhaps was the sudden retirement of offensive line coach Alex Gibbs, who jumped off this doomed vessel without coaching a single game. This is known as prescience.
Pete Carroll is blithely glib about this massive turnover during Kickoff Weekend:
"This doesn't have anything to do with the game plan though, as far as I'm concerned. We've been working on this game plan for months. We're all over it, so it doesn't affect it."
Sounds like some versatile, nimble coaching. Pete Carroll has a poor character. Combine that with a cast of boners and you've got the 2010 Meltdown Fudgefest of the year.
Watch it burn from a safe distance.
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