I Dislike Your Favorite Team

Oh, you know, Four score and also seven years ago, looking to the past, our hockey moms and Joe Six Pack fathers brought forth on this continent, a new, you know, also exciting nation, conceived in Liberty, which John McCain loves, because he’s a maverick, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal, but that the Vice President should have a smidgen more power, you know, yeah?

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or also any nation so maverickily conceived and so dedicated to those, you know, families, can long endure. We, and I am one of those who are part of the we, you know, are met on a great battle-field of that war. That war. That war. It is important. Also, we have come to dedicate a portion of that field, which may or may not have natural gas underneath it, as a final resting place for those who here, you know, gave their lives that also that some nation might live. Clearly, also, though Senator Biden and Senator Obama don’t think so, also, it is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this thing that John McCain has always believed in.

But, you know, my fellow normal Americans, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground, because to do so would suggest that some folks were wrong about this war, and that’s looking to the past. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, and were looking to the future, you know? Also, it. Also, it is far above our poor power to add or detract. Also, those people who live outside here, if you want, I guess, you could call it the world, will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. Darn right, you know? It is for us real Americans who know about the thing and the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work (though, you know, it should be noted that you know, also, “unfinished” suggests that are work is not finished, when it really is) which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us, even though that is looking to the past, yet again, don’t you know? that from these honored dead, who are totally honored, even though if Senator Obama wished they were dead without honor, which you know, he totally does; also, we take increased maverick devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion, but talking about that cause and their devotion would be you know, uncomfortable and also -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under our Awesome Maverick God and Jesus and the Dinosaurs that we killed in God’s name (and you know, I love Jews) way back in 4000 BC, you know, also, shall have a new birth of freedom –as an outsider, I’m not sure that the government is ready for this idea, you know, but also, and that government of the small town people, by you small town people, for the small town people, shall not perish from the earth. And it won’t, if you give me more powers. I need more powers,