I Dislike Your Favorite Team

Only the top three teams in this conference have winning records vs. the AFC. Don't overreact to that, however. Speaking of overreactions, expect the Wall of Soundbites from the sportsjacks shrieking to strip division winners of their automatic playoff spot. All jacked up over a non-winning team winning the NFC West, these assjacks will insist we have to tear down the sweet system.

It will be another short-sighted overreaction, just like changing OT rules because Brett Favre didn't get another chance to throw an interception versus the Saints last year.

By the way, the PA governor who said we're becoming a nation of "wusses" is himself a pussy, for using the word "wuss." This doesn't mean that a "pussy" is an inferior thing ... merely that they are yielding. Read the Tao Te Ching, pussies.

#1 Seed
(12-3) The Atlanta Falcons have youth, talent and power on Offense. The Defense has improved from last year in forcing turnovers and stopping points. Special Teams, while still very good, have fallen from the tip-top. Overall: outstanding discipline in turnovers & penalties, but do they have the bellyfire? Remaining game: Carolina.

#2 Seed
(11-4) The Chicago Bears Offense is fugly and the Defense is outstanding, just like always. Special Teams are the best in the league. Overall: two out of three phases can take a team very far, but Cutler will lose the game to a good defense. Remaining game: at Green Bay.

#3 Seed
(10-5) The Philadelphia Eagles Offense is dizzyingly quick and explosive but not suited to bad weather. The Defense is not dominant, but gets after the QB and forces turnovers. Special Teams are solid. Overall: a terrifying team to defend, losing homefield & a bye could force their exit. Remaining Game: Dallas.

#4 Seed
(7-8) Widely assumed to be unworthy of the playoffs, the St. Louis Rams Offense features few yards and fewer few points. The Defense generates pressure and keeps points under control. Besides returning punts, Special Teams are not a strength. Overall: it would take a great day from RB Jackson & rookie Bradford to beat any playoff team. Win and in. Remaining game: Seattle.

#5 Seed
(11-4) The New Orleans Saints Offense is still trying to find its championship perfection, but is the most clutch in the NFC. The Defense isn't forcing as many turnovers as last year, yet is playing more solid. Special Teams are the weak link on this team. Overall: with experience on their side, they have a great shot at repeating. Remaining game: Tampa Bay.

#6 Seed
(9-6) The Green Bay Packers entered this season highly overrated and are lucky to be in a Win and in situation. The Offense boasts phenomenal passing but struggles to run. The Defense allows almost no points but shows some vulnerability to the run. Special Teams are not very good. Overall: a dangerous team with some issues, they don't travel well. Remaining game: Chicago.

Hopefuls:

(9-6) New York Giants must win and have Green Bay lose: unlikely. Remaining game: DC Skins.

(9-6) Tampa Bay Bucs must win and have Green Bay and New York lose: unlikely. Remaining game: New Orleans.