Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Favre to the Jets! Asphalt jungle, my ass.

This story is being lugubriously covered by every media outlet, and I really want to get on to the Washington Redbones, but as a Jets fan I can't withhold comment.

Merchandisers are scrambling. For example, Madden 2009, which features Favre on the cover as a Packer, might re-release the game with the ol' Gunslinger as a Jet. Hysteria, pandemonium, dogs and cats living together ...

Except that if it's an open competition, Kellen Clemens should be the starter. The Jets were awful last year and Clemens finished with a 3-5 record and a 5-10 TD-INT ratio. However, the Jets have patiently been bringing him along, and he's very much in the mold of Pennington (and Favre, for that matter). Clemens is younger and if properly developed he could have a nice career.

Favre is certainly an upgrade over Pennington in the area of arm strength, but so is my little sister. I'm sorry. That's cruel, the fella has had multiple surgeries and he never had a cannon to begin with. He's a winner. Pennington is very smart and tough; he should begin making his transition to coaching.

The media explosion in New York will die out as the INTs pile up. That will lead to recrimination and a major distraction for the Jets, who have improved their offensive and defensive lines yet have holes elsewhere. With at least another year before they're ready to challenge the Patriots for the division, a one-year disappointment with #4 will set them back unnecessarily.

Meanwhile, what's the over-under that unproven Packers QB Aaron Rodgers gets hurt or just sucks? By Week 3 Packers fans will be screaming for Favre to come back.

The Washington Redbones

Redbones? Just trying out some some less offensive options.

Also, may I direct your attention to H-Back Chris Cooley's entertaining blog? He is clever, interesting, honest enough to admit some unfortunate taste in music, a damn fine football player who epitomizes the Redbones tradition and also he married Christy, a team cheerleader (the Redbone-ettes).

That's right, they're Chris and Christy. So what? President Grover Cleveland's wife was also named Grover.

The Washington Redbones defeated the Colts in the Hall of Fame Game, kicking off the monthlong 2008 preseason. Ah preseason: stepping lightly through the IR minefield. The injuries compiled during training camp will multiply as players fight for the fifty-six roster spots.

The Redbones beat the Colts 30-16, which is meaningless. What is important is that the offense works and that the QB play was particularly efficient (19-of-22 for 216 yards 3 TDs). QB Campbell was 5-5 for 61 yards and a TD. Colt Brennan threw 2 TDs (!).

I certainly am not claiming that this determines success in the regular season, but it is worthwhile to compare other recent first-year offenses. In 2006, with the new Al "Genius" Saunders playbook, they went 0-4 in preseason and averaged less than a TD per game. The offense, particularly passing, was substandard all year and they only scored 19 ppg on their way to a 5-11 record. My point? We're off to better start with a QB-friendly coach. The rest of the schemes and terminology remain intact.

I just looked for images of "Redbones" and I think we have to cross that nickname off the list. Not appropriate for this site.

What about "Redwings?" Shit, that's a hockey team.

"Redclaws?" That sounds kinda badass. The Washington Redclaws? Stay tuned.


Big Blue Monkey said...

That clawy golbinly thing is scary.

Andrew Wice said...

I know! That's why it's cool. Although it is a little XFL.

I'm just terrified that we're going to eventually end up with "the Washington Cherry Blossoms" or something.

By the way, the Japanese word for cherry blossom is "sakura."

And the Japanese word for beer is "biru."

Andrew Wice said...

Best quotation on the Favre trade courtesy of Fred Smoot:

"It goes to show you, this league doesn't care who you are, you will wear another uniform--unless you're Darrell Green."

Big Blue Monkey said...

Fred Smoot is awesome, as long as he isn't wearing Viking Purple, and being led astray by Prostitute clitoris licker, Bryant McKinnie.

For the record, again, McKinnie went down on a prostitute.

Lucy Rhode said...

Who would suggest the Washington Cherry Blossoms? Ewww.

While watching the game Sunday with a bevy of drunken hotel guests, I started calling them the Washington Insiders. I'm pretty sure I started it, well, let's say I did. Did I hear that here? It seems too obvious not to have been suggested. The name caught on. The marketing possibilities are aplenty. Someone even mentioned a special game for Wii freaks -- he was calling it Wii-WIs, which was awesome to say while drinking adult beverages.

My new non-Steeler crush? #40! That kid had a good start. Will he keep it up?

Andrew Wice said...

Washington Insiders is clever, but it is easy to turn it gross. I don't think you need me to explain.

Lucy Rhode said...

Good point Andrew. I'm far too innocent to have thought of that on my own.

Are you serious about starting a non-spread football pick-em? That is an excellent idea -- not that BBM isn't generous and kind and wonderful to offer us his mayo game.

Andrew Wice said...


And that's how democracy works, folks.

In addition to a remote control farting bear, the winner of the soon-to-be-unveiled IDYFT Pick 'Em will receive 1 (one) To The Last Drop t-shirt in your size.

Suck on that, Jim Mora Senior!