I Dislike Your Favorite Team

No, not Donovan Leitch (though I love that crazy old hippie, and think his talent totally underrated. "Season of the Witch" is the least-covered great song, ever.)

I speak of Will Leitch, editor/writer/blogger who has a new book out in January, called "God Save the Fan", a look at what is wrong with modern sports and includes an already infamous episode in which he watched ESPN 24 hours straight. That's fucking sick.

Meanwhile, Jason Elam, kicker for the Denver Broncos, also has a book coming out in January, which I've discussed, titled "Monday Night Jihad". It is actually not a book about how the NFL can improve fans, though that would have been an excellent counterpoint to Will's work. It is a novel. Like I said, I talked about it in depth earlier.

So two books, about very different subjects (though both in their way talk about things that are threatening our way of life. Is Chris Berman a mole sent by terrorists to make us dumber? Would that make his schtick more rational? Did I just blow your fucking mind?) by two different authors. I thought we could compare them, in sportsy "Tale of the Tape" type way, like Nick Bakay used to do for ESPN the Magazine!

Let's be clear, I'm not comparing the books, or their relative merits, or their chances for success. Which is good for Jason Elam, as his Amazon sales rank is almost 600,000 spots below Leitch's, despite the fact his book becomes available 3 weeks earlier.

Let's get at this, from a psuedoscientifical way (Elam, as a creationist, would prefer that)

Birthplace:
Elam: Fort Walton, Florida
Leitch: Mattoon, Illinois
Winner: Push

College:
Elam: University of Hawaii at Manoa
Leitch: University of Illinois-"Chambana"
Winner: Elam

Post College Education:
Elam: Liberty Seminary
Leitch: None
Winner: Leitch

Sports Accomplishment:
Elam: Tied longest NFL FG ever
Leitch: Got worked by a retired Andre Rison and Kordell Stewart
Winner: Elam

Currently Resides:
Elam: Denver Suburbs
Leitch: Brooklyn, NYC
Winner: Leitch

Game Show Accomplishments:
Elam: None
Leitch: Win Ben Stein's Money appearance
Winner: Push

MySpace Music:
Elam: None
Leitch: "Freya" --The Sword
Winner: Push/Guitar Hero 2

Best YouTube Musical Appearance:
Elam: The Jason Elam Band at Pigeon Forge
Leitch: Misfits Lyric Sheet
Winner: Leitch?

Leitch wins! Buy his book! Take us out, Jason Elam Band!