I Dislike Your Favorite Team

When my cousin came to DC for the first time, she came with her partner and their children.  It was 1987, and they had come to see the AIDS Quilt on the National Mall.  And they were both ladies, and at age thirteen, I quickly realized that I had gay people in my family, and that they were pretty awesome people, and pretty awesome parents.

At Macalester College, once named the Most Godless School in America, you might not be surprised I ran into a lot of gay people, and many of them turned out to be pretty normal.  Some were awesome, some sucked, and in general were a lot like straight people.  The more gay people you are around, the more you realize, "Holy Shit, these people are people."  It's an earth-shattering idea, truly.

So, you'll pardon me if I'm not shocked that Michael Irvin supports his dead gay brother, and will support the first NFL active player who comes out of the closet.  The most difficult part of the whole thing for me is that Michael Irvin is a Goddamn Cowboy.  Couldn't Clinton Portis be on the cover of Out magazine first?  That guy spent two years being the Cher of the NFL, and he didn't get on Out first?  Bullshit!

It feels weird to agree with Michael Irvin, but it doesn't feel weird to shrug my shoulders at the press who finds this news some intriguing and potentially dangerous.


In particular, I find this post from ProFootballTalk's Mike Florio kind of hilarious, particularly this line:  "In many respects, football teams have been immune to the societal advances of the last 50 years. Other than racial equality (which still may not completely exist), misogyny and homophobia are alive and well, making it impossible for any player to come out of the closet while still in the locker room."

I don't know in what country Mike Florio is living in, where racial equality is the status quo, and misogyny and homophobia are a thing of a past, but I'd like to go to there.  They are alive and well in America, and the NFL locker room, I'm sure, is no different.  But, still--when that anti-gay marriage movement brought out their big NFL gun, it was David Tyree, and the pro-gay marriage movement has active players like Scott Fujita and retirees like Michael Irvin.  MICHAEL IRVIN, for fuck's sake.

But at the same time, I find Florio's assertion--that it is "impossible" for a gay player to come out an unnecessary and dangerous assertion.   It is not impossible.  Saying that it is, in a nationally read publication, might actually make it a bit harder.

Here's what I believe, with very little evidence to support it, but all the same--there isn't a gay player in the NFL who, when he does come out, will surprise all of his teammates.  There are roughly 1700 players in the NFL--let's assume that 100 of them are gay.  That's a little bit on the low side, if we can believe the estimates, and we can.  I will bet that not one of those players hasn't confided in at least one teammate.  It could be that in some situations, the whole team knows, but has agreed to not leak the news to the press.

"Out", as any gay person could tell you, means different things.  You can be "Out" to your friends, but not your family.  You can be "out" to friends and family, but not co-workers.  I've known gay men who were out to friends and work, but not family.  Will the first out gay man in the NFL face some repercussions?  Certainly.  But this scenario that Florio posits:  "Teams won’t cut Pro Bowlers who don’t want homosexual players in the locker room, period."  Well, no, they won't cut a Pro Bowler who don't want homosexual players in the locker room, period.  They will tell that player, "We are paying you a lot of money, you've played with this guy for a few years--deal with it."  And that player will deal with it.

Positing, as Florio seems to, that the NFL is one of the last places that Homophobia resides is a disservice.  And making it seem like it is a uniform problem isn't fair either.  It will certainly take some courage from that gay NFL player out there to come out, but when he does, I bet he'll find that most of his teammates shrug their shoulders and say, "Just make your block, faggot!", and there will be giggling and shit.  If the US military can deal with it, so can the NFL.  And once a gay man announces he's there and contributing in the NFL, he'll find company, real quick.