Thursday, June 23, 2011

The Confounding Height(s) of Derrick Williams

I'll preface this with the acknowledgement that it probably happens for every player getting drafted, and that maybe, just maybe, in the big scheme of things, an inch here or there doesn't matter much (right, heterosexual ladies and homosexual men?)

But Jesus' silhoutte on a waffle--in this age of constant media coverage of everything sports related, particularly drafts, can we get some agreement on height?

Earlier this week, me and a buddy (occasional contributor Miwacar) were discussing Derrick Williams, and I referred to him as 6' 8", and said buddy said, "I thought he was more like 6' 9"."  And then ESPN's coverage started tonight, and he was listed at 6' 8, 3/4".  So I called Miwacar, and I said, "I guess we were both right."  And we shrugged our shoulders and moved on.  That's a pretty specific measurement, after all.

And now, I'm watching NBA TV's recap of the draft, and Derrick Williams has apparently shrunk in the last few hours, because he's now 6' 7 1/4".

Goddamn it!  That's an inch and half of difference.  This should be a pretty easy thing to determine.  I'm used to 5' 11" guys being 6' even.  I get that.  But this isn't in a media guide, and we aren't talking about a guy hovering between Total Basketball Irrelevance and Super Stardom, like say Kemba Walker is with his 5'11 or 6' 0".  Can we get some agreement on how tall these guys are?  Considering how closely they are measured in terms of speed, jumping ability, emotional maturity, etc--you'd think there would be some sort of physical way of measuring height.  Maybe with some sort of device that contained a ruler, except that ruler was in fact many rulers in a row, and printed on a something more pliant than wood--a tough paper, or plastic maybe.  And you could drop the bottom of it on the floor, and pull it up to measure someone.  We'll call it...THE TAPE MEASURE.  Brilliant!

Don't get me wrong--I don't think Derrick Williams' success or failure will be determined by that inch and a half that seems to be in contention.  It's just the idea that we can't that shit straight that I find maddening.  Let's get our shit straight, NBA.  That is all.

Also, welcome Derrick!  I hope you dunk on many people, but especially everyone on the Pacers, who I have worked up a lot of hate for over the years.

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